The Crone Collective
The painting that I happily share with you here was painted by Beverly Jean Hancock, an artist I met recently at the Gage Gallery where I live in Victoria BC.
I pop into the Gage from time to time and had reason to again when a visiting friend had a hankering for a gallery excursion. On this particular day, we were greeted by the artist hosts of the day, Elizabeth Carefoot and Beverly, who was preparing for her upcoming solo exhibition What Makes You Smile.
Beverly shared with us her motivation for her new work, which was the simple premise that she would like to find reasons to smile more. She engaged both friends and strangers to provide photos of something that makes them smile and she then created her exhibition of painted works from those gems of inspiration.
Serendipitously, she spoke about one of those paintings that she had entitled Ice Cream Crone. Obviously, I could not have been more delighted and we entered into an extended conversation about the word Crone and how it is being reclaimed by more women everywhere. I asked Beverly if she considered herself a crone and she replied without any hesitation at all that she does, absolutely. Ultimately, I had to take this fabulous painting home with me and it’s now hanging in the perfect spot in our dining room.
I returned to The Gage Gallery to interview Beverly so that I can share her wisdom with all of you. Enjoy my croning Q & A with Beverly!
Crone Club Member – Beverly Jean Hancock
At what age or time period did you become a crone (and how did you know for sure)?
I really felt that I had become a crone at the age of 60. I knew it in my body and mind and simultaneously, people started asking and thanking me for sharing my knowledge with them. Strangers started offering me their seat on the bus! I didn’t feel very old but I certainly appeared older than them and I think I would have offered me the seat too. Then there was the time that I went to a workshop that asked us to describe the energy that others brought. I was told I had the energy of a ‘Wise Wizard’. You definitely know you’re a crone when you hold the energy of a Wise Wizard!
Did anyone mentor you in becoming a crone?
I was so fortunate to have a lot strong crone friends to influence my feelings about becoming one myself. Because I was able to watch them embody the role and show up in the world as a crone, I wasn’t fearful of embracing this revered place of strength and wisdom. I see becoming a crone as a privilege and a natural revolution. Maiden, Mother, CRONE!
What do you personally value or appreciate about being a crone?
As a crone, I find that I can converse, be demonstrative and even flirt a bit with the opposite sex without any sexual tension because I am no longer considered ‘sexy’. In my youth I was, and I had to be careful about these encounters. Now I truly don’t have to.
I’m not a particularly soft person, but I do enjoy the softness that comes with this stage. It is true that the edges soften.
I appreciate that if I want ice cream, I can take myself for ice cream. I can go by myself and really enjoy that ice cream. Or a movie. Or what have you. And I can do it wearing white jeans, no one else to get them dirty but myself!
I so appreciate the lack of responsibility of caregiving and all of the other things that needed my attention when I was in the Mother stage. But I so love helping young moms wherever I go, for example, the airport. I’ve been there – I see what those moms need and they are happy to accept my help because I’m completely unthreatening. I find that other women are much more open to letting me in now that I am a crone.
Have you met any challenges in being a crone?
While I appreciate the supports that people offer me (such as offering a seat on the bus), some of the expectations of me are completely unreasonable and ageist. For example, I am often up and down ladders given my work as an artist. Someone recently said “A 70 year old woman shouldn’t be on a ladder!”. That’s ridiculous! Being up and down a ladder is not an age related ability, it is a skill related ability and with my work, I’m up and down ladders all the time. I know well that some people shouldn’t be on ladders and I assure you I am not one of them.
What would you like to share with others who are not yet a crone?
I think this would be dependent on the person. If you are someone who wants to be able to go up and down a ladder when you’re 74 or 84 or 94, you really need to be strong and fit at 54. Don’t wait! Having said that, if you are someone who wants to sit and read a book, or hold babies close when you arrive to this phase, then I fully applaud this because it is a part of croning that just isn’t valued enough.
Are you open to sharing how many years of life experience you have?
I have 74 years of life experience.